My Top 10 Reasons for Recovering

I find looking at the reasons for recovery, and writing them down, is sometimes just what we need to keep us moving in a positive direction.  So here goes, these are my top 10.

1. I want to enjoy life to the fullest – eating disorders force us to focus on the little things in life, and not in a good way.  The little things I want to focus on are the beauty of nature, the sounds of the birds, etc… and NOT the calories and exercise that ED chooses to focus on.
2. I want to have authentic relationships – It’s no secret that eating disorders isolate us. Eating disorders make us shy away from social events that involve food (almost all of them), they create  difficult situations when our loved ones try to help us, but we can’t accept their help.
3. I want to enjoy cycling – Cycling has been something I have done with my my dad since I was 8, and my mom and family friends not too long after that.  It’s always been a way to clear my head, and enjoy my surroundings, but my eating disorder took that away from me.  Creating a focus on performance, and an obsession about calories, the eating disorder quickly ruined cycling for me. Being able to enjoy cycling without the negativity of the eating disorder has been hard, but most rewarding in the long run. I will never go back to exercise dictated by ED.
4. I want to eat without a second thought – Why? Because being able to do so allows us to enjoy our company, not have guilt, and simply live freely!
5. I want to be able to be healthy in order to help others – Having been through what I have been through, I want to help make other people’s recovery easier than mine. I was extremely fortunate to have such a supportive family and a great treatment team and I am beyond grateful for that. I realize, however, that not everyone is that fortunate, and I want to provide some of that support, if even a little bit, to as many people as I can. I need to be healthy to do so, which means staying strong in my recovery.
6. I want to be an active participant, not a spectator – Living with an eating disorder isolates us even from our own lives.   Unable to fully enjoy people, food, and life to the fullest, we end up with a sense of watching our lives pass us by as we sit in our disorders. Nobody deserves this, and recovery is the change we all need.
7. I want to experience college, and succeed – Graduating from high school this year, I am going to be going to ASU next fall.  I am looking forward to it, and if it weren’t for recovery, I wouldn’t be able to immerse myself in the college experience.  I am not too sure what that experience is going to be like, but whatever it is I am excited for the adventure 🙂
8. I want a future -I want to be able to build my life into something meaningful.  I want a carreer, and I want to help people going through the same things I have gone through.  Right now i am thinking engineering, along with some volunteer work, but there’s always the possibility for change, and that’s okay!
   
9. I want to feel secure – I don’t want to have to worry about my health all the time, and I don’t want to fear relapse. of course, I want to protect against it, but I want to be confident enough in my recovery to know that I can handle anything life throws at me without resorting to eating disorder behaviors.
10. I want to study abroad, and travel – Traveling to foreign countries can be very stressful with an eating disorder, because the foods are so much different. I was fortunate to be able to go on an exchange program in Berlin for 3 weeks over the summer a few years ago, and although I did enjoy the local food, ED did get some words in and I hate to say succeeded in limiting the new foods I tried.  I want to be able to travel all over the place, and eat the local foods there without thought.
11. I want to move on – I guess you could say going to college, succeeding, and everything can be moving on in part, but putting it all together is what moving on means to me. I don’t want to feel sorry for myself for having gone through an eating disorder, I don’t want to wallow in it, I want to be confident when I say I have learned from it and will never take my health for granted again. I want my suffering to have a purpose.
12.  I want to be comfortable in my body – Not only do I want to be able to do everything I listed above, I want to be confident and secure in myself while doing each and every one of them!

What are your reasons to recover, begin recovery, progress in your recovery, or stay in recovery?  Share them! I really think writing them out can be a huge attitude boost. I know it was for me 🙂