Depression: It Gets Better, You’re Not Alone

Originally published May 29, 2014. Updated June 6, 2024.

Content Warning: loneliness, depression

I often had to tell myself that my battle with depression was (literally) in my own head.

As simple as that seems, I remember coming to that realization as though I had stumbled upon gold. It was a revelation, something that had never dawned on me before. Now, everything was going to be perfect.

However, I quickly realized this epiphany was only the beginning of the journey, working to overcome my depression was the next step.

The Three Lies

There were three lies I told myself that served as barriers to my depression recovery:

1. I will never get better.
2. I am alone in this.
3. No one will understand what I am going through.

These lies plagued my depression recovery day after day; it took a long time to get past these mental barriers I had put up.

So let’s talk about each of these…

Lie #1: I Will Never Get Better

If you are in the process of working through your recovery, I want to tell you right now this is a lie, and this is not true. Things get better, they may never be ‘perfect’ but they do get better.

In my story, I remember waking up in the morning thinking today would be the day I would get active again, go out with some friends, complete a few errands, and get back to ‘normal life’. But what would happen is I would sink into my depression and end up doing nothing.

Then the worst part would happen: I would tell myself that lie, “You will never get better.”

This was the first mental barrier I needed to get over.

To quote a great movie, “The night is always darkest before the dawn.”

In my darkest moments, my mind would tell me you will always be like this, it only gets worse. Then slowly things started to get better.

Lie #2: I Am Alone in This

There was always this constant struggle I faced: the belief I was alone, that I was the only person in the world going through depression.

I constantly was looking around at all the people in my life seeing how happy they were, how much joy they had, and how great their lives must be.

I would tell myself no one else was feeling this way, everyone else was doing great.

I am here to tell you that you are not alone; there are other people struggling just like you.

Lie #3: No One Will Understand What I’m Going Through

I thought no one would get me; they would look at me differently and treat me differently. I struggled so long to get past this mental barrier.

I wanted desperately to hold onto the image I had created: that I had all the answers, I was always happy, and I was “all good.”

Yet I was dying inside. I was depressed.

Related: Depression Recovery: My 3 Biggest Mental Barriers

Busting Through the Lies

There are three things I want to tell you about depression: it will get better, you are not alone, and people surprisingly understand.

In my story, it got better. It was a battle, a struggle, but I eventually got help, worked through my difficulties, and things improved.

I learned I was not alone.

When I finally told my family and friends, I was shocked to learn about the people who were battling depression or who battled it throughout their lives, too.

Then I learned that most people understand; my friends and teachers helped me out, and having a healthy community made a big difference.

Taking the First Steps

I took a few simple steps that helped in these areas. It took all my strength to be open and share my story, to let people know that I was struggling.

It also took me the courage to put people in my life to check up on me who understood what I was going through.

Related: Accountability in Depression Recovery

I encourage you to take a step today. It may be one I’ve already mentioned, or it may be something else.

And if it feels right, I encourage you to open up to others about what you are going through. The more people that know they are not alone the better.