Please Support our Nonprofit Magazine!There has never been a time when our community and content was needed more. As a nonprofit online community and magazine, we provide FREE articles, videos, and other content that is available worldwide, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Due to the global pandemic, we’ve had to put events, collaborations and business sponsorships on hold, leaving us to rely exclusively on online donations from our community (aka YOU!) We want to be here to support you all through this pandemic and beyond, which is why we are asking you to consider donating whatever you are able. A single (or monthly) donation of just $5 will make a difference and will help keep our nonprofit running so we can continue supporting you and others.
My name is Abigail and I am free from conditions!
I was nineteen years old laying in a strange man’s bed when I learned what unconditional love was. I was backstage painting a set that was part of my major’s requirement at the time covered in chalk and beige paint from my red sweatpants to the many misplaced hairs on my head.
Amidst the soulful strums of my favorite artist India Arie, a man approached me unromantically asking if I wanted to “Come to his place later to hang out.”
Newly single and speechless a man besides my 3-year ex-boyfriend found me attractive. I found myself in his bed that night entangled with sheets and regret. As he held me to sleep I ached for deep conversation. I asked him about his past, had he ever been in love, and what exactly he saw in me that made him come up to my painted, messy, broken self that Friday evening. Every response he
As he held me to sleep I ached for deep conversation.
I asked him about his past: had he ever been in love? What exactly did he see in me that made him come up to my painted, messy, broken self that Friday evening? Every response he gave led to an advance to kiss me, but as I pushed him away I answered the questions I asked him pretending he was as curious about me as I was about him.
Are you enjoying this article? We are a nonprofit and rely on donations to run our magazine and community. If you are enjoying this article, would you consider making a $2 donation?
About 6am that morning he got up to go to the bathroom. I began to gather my clothes to try to gracefully exit his room when I stopped one pant leg in and asked, “What do you think love is?” From the other room, he stopped, I could hear him thinking and he said,
“Abigail, love is used to set the other person free. If it’s not setting them free, it isn’t love.”
I sat and read about every “Free From” story on the Libero Network site to find myself asking, what am I really free from? An eating disorder? Sure. Darkness? It’s still there, but conditional love is a concept recovered Abigail no longer understands.
I had searched far and wide for a man to love me until I loved myself and had looked high and low for conditions that would make me lovable. I spent years slaving over a treadmill and bowing down to the porcelain god, so I at once could become worthy of the love I so desperately desired. Until one day I threw out the scale because I learned a number could not quantitate my worth. I
I looked inside deeper and deeper every day as I began to know the value of my worth stemmed from the character of my heart rather than the shell that carried my soul.
It took me years later to truly know what God would have me learn from a one night stand.
As I asked and waited, it finally came to me: true love is without conditions and is unconditional.
I asked that man what love was curious if my ex-boyfriend had really loved me, but what I learned later from what he told me was loving myself unconditionally has set me free.
My experience with him was a seed planted long ago that has bloomed into the most beautiful unconditional self-love tree I have seen.
As my recovery continues and my tree continues to grow, I pray to love myself a little bit more deeply every day and lot less conditionally. I pray that same prayer for all of you.
With this knowledge I was set free:
Here in this moment, I am worthy of love. Here in this moment, I am free. I invite you to my “freedom”
Share this post:
Share your Story!
Interested in sharing your story? Visit liberomagazine.com/share to find out more and to send in your submission.
You can also share your photo to Instagram and tag us using @liberomagazine and we’ll share it with the Libero community!
Join us as we break down stigma, shame, and secrecy by Voicing Freedom through our stories!
Support our nonprofit by shopping from our NEW Giving Shop!
Click Here to visit the shop!
The opinions and information shared in this article may not represent that of Libero Network Society. We hold no liability for any harm that may incur from reading content on our site. Please always consult your own medical professionals before making any changes to your medication, activities, or recovery process.