Community Stories

Abigail: Free from Conditions

Abigail: Free from Conditions | Libero Magazine
What I learned later from what he told me was loving myself unconditionally has set me free.

Before you start reading...

Support us for #GivingTuesday!

$2,105 of $2,500 raised

Giving Tuesday is an international day of giving, it is also our biggest fundraiser of the year. Support our nonprofit magazine by donating -- every little bit helps!

$2,105 of $2,500 raised
$
Select Payment Method
Personal Info

Credit Card Info
This is a secure SSL encrypted payment.
Terms

Donation Total: $25 One Time


My name is Abigail and I am free from conditions!

I was nineteen years old laying in a strange man’s bed when I learned what unconditional love was. I was backstage painting a set that was part of my major’s requirement at the time covered in chalk and beige paint from my red sweatpants to the many misplaced hairs on my head.

Amidst the soulful strums of my favorite artist India Arie, a man approached me unromantically asking if I wanted to “Come to his place later to hang out.”

Newly single and speechless a man besides my 3-year ex-boyfriend found me attractive. I found myself in his bed that night entangled with sheets and regret. As he held me to sleep I ached for deep conversation. I asked him about his past, had he ever been in love, and what exactly he saw in me that made him come up to my painted, messy, broken self that Friday evening. Every response he

As he held me to sleep I ached for deep conversation.

I asked him about his past: had he ever been in love? What exactly did he see in me that made him come up to my painted, messy, broken self that Friday evening? Every response he gave led to an advance to kiss me, but as I pushed him away I answered the questions I asked him pretending he was as curious about me as I was about him.


Are you enjoying this article? We are a nonprofit and depend on donations to keep running. If you are enjoying this article, would you consider making a $2 donation?
$
Select Payment Method
Personal Info

Credit Card Info
This is a secure SSL encrypted payment.
Terms

Donation Total: $2


About 6am that morning he got up to go to the bathroom. I began to gather my clothes to try to gracefully exit his room when I stopped one pant leg in and asked, “What do you think love is?” From the other room, he stopped, I could hear him thinking and he said,

“Abigail, love is used to set the other person free. If it’s not setting them free, it isn’t love.”

 

I sat and read about every “Free From” story on the Libero Network site to find myself asking, what am I really free from? An eating disorder? Sure. Darkness? It’s still there, but conditional love is a concept recovered Abigail no longer understands.

I had searched far and wide for a man to love me until I loved myself and had looked high and low for conditions that would make me lovable. I spent years slaving over a treadmill and bowing down to the porcelain god, so I at once could become worthy of the love I so desperately desired. Until one day I threw out the scale because I learned a number could not quantitate my worth. I

I looked inside deeper and deeper every day as I began to know the value of my worth stemmed from the character of my heart rather than the shell that carried my soul.

It took me years later to truly know what God would have me learn from a one night stand.

As I asked and waited, it finally came to me: true love is without conditions and is unconditional.

I asked that man what love was curious if my ex-boyfriend had really loved me, but what I learned later from what he told me was loving myself unconditionally has set me free.

My experience with him was a seed planted long ago that has bloomed into the most beautiful unconditional self-love tree I have seen.

As my recovery continues and my tree continues to grow, I pray to love myself a little bit more deeply every day and lot less conditionally.  I pray that same prayer for all of you.

With this knowledge I was set free:

Here in this moment, I am worthy of love. Here in this moment, I am free. I invite you to my “freedom”

Share this post:

Share your Story!

MaliaFF5

Interested in sharing your story? Visit liberomagazine.com/share to find out more and to send in your submission.

You can also share your photo to Instagram and tag us using @liberomagazine and we’ll share it with the Libero community!

Join us as we break down stigma, shame, and secrecy by Voicing Freedom through our stories!

Abigail is an acting major at Ball State University and a future art therapist. Through recovery from her own eating disorder and struggles from bi-polar and depression, she strives to empower and uplift others through her art as an actor, singer/songwriter, and writer. She is a contributor to our faith column.

If you enjoyed this article, please donate $2

As a nonprofit, we rely on donations to keep our magazine and community running. If you enjoyed this article, please consider donating:

$
Select Payment Method
Personal Info

Credit Card Info
This is a secure SSL encrypted payment.
Terms

Donation Total: $25 One Time


Report ad as harmful | Ad Policy
Don't Like Seeing Ads? We are a nonprofit and ads are one way we raise money to keep our site and projects going. If you don't like to see ads on our site, signup for monthly donations and help us fully fund ourselves through donations!

Subscribe


Support Libero for #GivingTuesday and help us raise $5,000!

Giving Tuesday 2018

We are a nonprofit. Support our magazine through our #GivingTuesday campaign!

$2,105 of $2,500 raised
$2,105 of $2,500 raised

We will be accepting donations for this campaign until the end of the year, but we hope to reach our goal by Giving Tuesday! Learn more

If you have any troubles donating, please email donations@liberonetwork.com
$
Select Payment Method
Personal Info

Credit Card Info
This is a secure SSL encrypted payment.
Terms

Donation Total: $25 One Time

What are you ‘Free from’?

Micaela: Free from Shame | Libero Magazine 1

Report ad as harmful | Ad Policy


Support Libero Monthly

We are a nonprofit. Support our magazine by signing up for monthly donations!

0% funded
0% funded

Though other online publications are starting to charge monthly subscriptions for their content, as a nonprofit, we want our articles to be available free of charge. This means we rely on ongoing donations to keep our magazine running and our website growing.

If you enjoy our content, please sign up to support us monthly! (you can change your mind at any time)

$

You have chosen to donate $5 monthly.

Select Payment Method
Personal Info

Credit Card Info
This is a secure SSL encrypted payment.
Terms

Donation Total: $5 Monthly

Do you blog about mental health?


Report ad as harmful | Ad Policy


Don’t Like Seeing Ads? We are a nonprofit and ads are one way we raise money to keep our site and projects going. If you don’t like to see ads on our site, signup for monthly donations and help us fully fund ourselves through donations!
Micaela: Free from Shame | Libero Magazine 1 Send us your story! [click here] or post your “Free from___” photo on Instagram and tag us: @liberomagazine!