Living in a state of balance between people pleasing and being assertive can be a daunting task. We want to be likeable and to exist in a pleasant environment, yet we do not want to be taken advantage of or feel like our voice isn’t being heard.
For many of us, the years engulfed in an eating disorder are years spent as a people pleaser and expert fitter-inner.
When we begin the recovery process, we are often told we need to practice being assertive and to use our voice.
For many of us, this can be scary because we do not know who we are without our eating disorder.
During many of the years after I began my recovery, I prided myself on my newly acquired assertion. Years later, I learned I was using this behaviour as a shield to protect myself from feeling pain and feeling vulnerable. I was numbing myself from living a full life.
If we truly want to thrive in our recovery, we must learn to live in a state of balance between these two extremes.
We need to find the shades of grey between the black and white.
Finding a balance between these two opposite ends of the spectrum is not easy. It is something I consider a practice; it’s dynamic and can change from day-to-day and even moment-to-moment.
Where do you feel you’re at on the spectrum between people pleasing and being assertive? What has helped you navigate a balance between these two opposing behaviours?
Watch the video below to learn more!