Giving Back Through Reaching Out

Hello! I am new here.  I have joined the Libero Network writing team as someone recovering from depression and anxiety. Hopefully, through my insights here, I can offer some comfort to others going through similar things. All I have is my own spectrum of experience and so that is all I can offer. Thank you for this opportunity to share with you.

I am introspective by nature, sometimes exhaustingly so.  I think that people who suffer from anxiety tend to internalize things quite a lot. The two things seem to go hand in hand.

Introspection for me is an incredible gift. Being able to analyze and discern daily experiences helps me to appreciate things more.  As winter nears here in London, I notice the colours in the leaves and the feeling of the cold air numbing my nose and cheeks. I see the variety of people who walk past me in the street, some on their phones, some lost in thought, and others walking hand in hand with their partner. I observe their worlds from my own internal haven. I turn things over in my head, my thoughts and my feelings and as a result, I have a good understanding of who I am.

I don’t know if this is the experience of all anxiety sufferers, probably not; but I do think there will be some of you who also have very sensitive inner worlds.

Of course, I am aware of some of the drawbacks of over analyzing. This is where obsessive thoughts, excessive worrying, fear of making decisions and those sorts of things that aren’t so cool come in. These are for me, the flipside of the beauty of a strong inner voice.

As an anxiety sufferer, I spend a lot of time looking inward. I’ve outlined why this can be a good thing and a bad thing. I’m not suggesting I should try change this part of myself. That’s the way I am and I am grateful for who I am.  What I am suggesting is, while it is good to look inward, it is equally good to reach out sometimes.

Before you balk, hang on! I know how hard it can be to step out of our comfort zones. It can be incredibly difficult just to do the little things in life that everyone else seems to find so simple.   I’ll elaborate a little on what I mean.

I recently went to help out at a soup kitchen. My job involved helping to serve the guests who came to the food hall. We had specific instructions on how to serve the food, how to take the plates once the guests had finished.  There were lots of instructions on what to do and what not to do. Sounds like a recipe for an anxious evening! And yes, sure, at the beginning before we got started, while I was still processing all the rules, there was some anxiety. But as the guests arrived, I gulped and stepped out into my role and I realized I could do it. 

And then I loved it.

It gave me an opportunity to step out of myself, out of my internal world and do something good for others who have had a pretty hard time in their own lives.  Taking my focus off my inner self and onto others was a great way to get some perspective and was also a relief in many ways.

Now, I am not suggesting you should jump up and go and volunteer at a soup kitchen but perhaps there are little ways in which you can shift you focus from within to without for a bit. From small things like writing, painting and exercising to bigger things like volunteering for a cause you believe in.

It can be difficult to step out of our selves and keep in mind that there is no rush and there is no pressure. I have found that it can bring peace to my sometimes tumultuous inner world.

While cherishing the gift of my inner voice, I believe that in reaching out to others, in opening my heart to those in need, my own anxieties and fears are eased. There is a healing power in giving back.

Some days we may have the strength to do it. Other days we may not. That’s fine. We take it one day at a time but in the end it is always worth it.

Sebastian

Sebastian is learning life by living it. Born in Zimbabwe, High Schooled in Zambia, and living in Cape Town, he isn’t really sure what to say when people ask, “Where are you from?” Seb went to Film School in Cape Town and has worked as a video editor for the last four years. He has battled with anxiety his whole life and has been through two severe episodes, experiencing intrusive thoughts and depression. He is on the road of recovery and has found that peace and a life free of fear is possible.