Relational Health

On Finding a ‘Good Man’


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Recently a friend asked me why I haven’t been in a relationship for the last little while. I explained to him that, unlike before, I now know exactly what I am looking for in a guy and so even when opportunities have presented themselves I haven’t paid attention to them because I’ve known they aren’t really what I want.

There is so much pressure to ‘be with someone’ that, if you’re single, you almost wonder if something is wrong with you. Some people don’t even remember what it’s like to be single because they’ve been in and out of relationships for as long as they can remember  – this is me, or at least who I used to be. Since I was about 13 there has always been someone I was interested in or seeing or just ‘having fun’ with or just broken-up with but still not over –  you get the picture…

I’ve always been of the mindset that it’s better to have someone than to have no one. I suppose this perspective explains why I’ve put up with the types of relationships I’ve found myself in. Recently, however, I’ve decided that enough is enough. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, maybe it’s a self-esteem thing, or, maybe it’s a bit of both; but I’m realizing that it’s OK to be alone. Moreover, I’m realizing that I’d rather be alone than settle for someone who I don’t really like, or who doesn’t really like me, or, worse, who mistreats me.

I’m done settling for the selfish, the absent, the emotionally abusive, the unstable, and the downright unkind – there’s a Good Man out there and I’m waiting for him! Maybe I’ve met him, maybe I see him every day, maybe he’s a complete stranger – I don’t know, all I know is that there is one out there for me and there is one out there for you too.

Don’t settle. Don’t put up with anything less than you deserve. Don’t be with someone for fear of being alone. Wait for your Good Man. Have eyes only for him, and you will find him, the same way I will find mine.

It just takes a little patience.

Inspired by Third Eye Blind’s “Good Man”

Lauren is the Founder and Editor of Libero. She started Libero in April 2010, when she shared her story about her struggles with an eating disorder and depression. Now Lauren uses her writing and videos to advocate mental health and body positivity. In her spare time, she enjoys makeup artistry, playing Nintendo, and taking selfies with her furbaby, Zoey.


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