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Editor's Note: We are a non-religious magazine. However, we acknowledge that spirituality is an important part for some. Our Faith column is a place for anyone to discuss how faith positively affects their mental health and how to improve the conversation around mental health within faith communities.
Being a Christian is the most important part of my identity. There is no one else I want to please more than the God of the universe. There is no one else I would rather know, and be deeply known by, than the savior of my soul. I believe if I am going to claim to have a deep desire for God, I better take it seriously in every aspect of my life.
On good weeks, I spend a lot of time asking God what His desires are for me.
I want to know what parts of me still need work. I especially want to know about the rough parts normally hidden from me.
I do understand these can be dangerous prayers; however, I’ve found the prayers that are scary are often the ones God honors. This gives God quite a bit of space to call me out on things that could take some time to change and get through.
Most recently, as I’ve been asking God what He wants from me, His answer has been: “Learn to rest.”
My initial reaction was something along the lines of, “Anything else instead, though?”
I think too frequently I assume God will send me on some crazy mission, sending me to a third world country. Or He will even call me to save starving puppies in the inner city.
I don’t expect him to ask me to rest. To me, rest equals doing nothing. Nothing equals wasting time, and it’s especially wasting time if it’s about myself, right?
Well, that’s what my inner critical self would like to keep me believing, anyways. Right now, learning how to make self-care a priority is super important to growing as a person.
In the past, God’s answer hasn’t always been to rest. Sometimes God’s answer has been to revisit trauma I would rather suppress for eternity or to challenge a compulsive thought or action I’ve been in denial about.
While it can be painful to confront the parts of ourselves needing the most change,
it’s extraordinarily beautiful that we have a God who refuses to leave us in our junk.
God’s vision for my life is far better than forever staying where I’m at now. He finds so much joy in investing in me and watching me thrive.
The God of the universe chooses to notice us each individually and to craft us. I realize not everyone is impacted by this in a profound way, but for me, there is no greater love.
God has every right to leave me in the dust. Instead, however, He hears my cries and challenges me for my own good. He walks by my side for each step and brings me closer to my full potential every day.
It’s my job to fully trust this change is for my own good, even if it’s not the first thing I’d choose to change.
Part of the faith journey is submitting to plans I don’t make myself.
If this life went as I planned, I never would have recovered. I have recovered, though, and from here I choose to continue to follow the God who brought me to this point.
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