Support our Nonprofit Magazine!
Before you start reading... There has never been a time when our community and content was needed more. As a nonprofit online community and magazine, we provide FREE articles, videos, and other content that is available worldwide, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Due to the global pandemic, we’ve had to put events, collaborations and business sponsorships on hold, leaving us to rely exclusively on online donations from our community (aka YOU!) We want to be here to support you all through this pandemic and beyond, which is why we are asking you to consider donating whatever you are able. A single (or monthly) donation of just $5 will make a difference and will help keep our nonprofit running so we can continue supporting you and others.CLICK HERE TO DONATE
I feel like my blog becomes a thing and maintains a structure for a period of time until I lose my way and wonder what I’m doing here and why and for how long and when and where will the thoughts find their place?
What am I here to say? What is my purpose? And how are my thoughts conveyed?
When writing, I use a simple version of Grammarly for punctuation, verb use, etc. The software recently began to suggest a piece’s tone and illustrates with an emoji along with a few adjectives/adverbs. When I recently finished writing, Grammarly rated the piece as “sad” and wow, that surprised me. Because while I’m definitely sad now and then, I’m predominantly hopeful, and I want the messages I send to reflect that.
So I decided to take a step back and determine what the hell I’m doing, or not doing, as the case may be.
The action began when a wise woman advised that I ‘figure out what I want to do’ before I take another step. That’s just it. I take a step to the left, then the right, forward, to the left, backward, diagonal, step, step, step…to what? What’s the beat, where’s the rhythm?
So I went all the way back to who I was when I was a kid, what I wanted and how I thought I’d get there. Ideals. Ideas.
All the way back to the kid who loved to take pictures and write stories.
The message is gathered from the entire story, the details found in the chapters.
I’ll pack up my Jeep and leave, just leave. I’ll head west and make my way to my kid on the other side of the world (might as well be) for a time. I’ll take only what I need and sleep under the stars every night, bathe in the rivers, and listen to whispers in the trees.
I’ll take you with me. We’ll see what happens. Maybe Grammarly will weigh in.
For the past two years, I’ve been chasing an ideal as if I have to have some kind of title to be whole. Like I have to serve some kind of specific purpose when my entire life has a purpose.
My entire life has meaning, through the good and the bad, through the bullshit and the truth.
What’s the rush? What’s the hurry? Why do I insist I do something I’m not even sure I want to do? Who am I? Who are you?
I think I’ll just be me, Diana, the layered person who has never squandered a moment and won’t start now. It has become profoundly more important to be my authentic self and live an authentic life than it is to chase that title.
Thanks for coming to my existential crisis. See you August 1st, after I remove the metaphorical masks.
Pass it on!
SITE DISCLAIMER: The opinions and information shared in this article or any other Content on our site may not represent that of Libero Network Society. We hold no liability for any harm that may incur from reading content on our site. Please always consult your own medical professionals before making any changes to your medication, activities, or recovery process. Libero does not provide emergency support. If you are in crisis, please call 1-800-784-2433 or another helpline or 911.