Originally published at VibrantMe.org on December 8, 2017. Republished here with permission. Get your blog featured!
Wouldn’t it be peachy if recovery from an addiction was linear? If you could do all the work to change habits that hurt you, and finally reach a golden ceiling once done? This may seem like how recovery should work–how we are often promised recovery does work–but it’s not. Recovery looks a lot more like a web of highs and lows.
Recovery looks a lot more like a web of highs and lows.
It looks like eating a pint of ice cream at 3 am after restricting for 2 days. It looks like downing a bottle or self-medicating to numb yourself after a bad confrontation with a co-worker. It looks like a relentless voice in your head that tells you that you are a horrible worthless person and you don’t deserve to live a fulfilling life.
Recovery sucks…But it also doesn’t.
Real recovery allows us to continue having ups and downs, mess-ups and comebacks. Through this process, we can begin to realize that life is not linear. We can begin to notice that no one, addiction or not, has it easy.
Recovery allows us to continue having ups and downs, mess-ups and comebacks.
Through this whole process, you, as the recover-ee, are not the centre of a universe that is out to get you. You are a human being that is doing their best to make sense of this crazy world.
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You are a human being that is doing their best.
So the next time you mess up, please remember that the way out is not paved with gold, but with a reflection–a reflection of you and all the others on this same journey.
Remember that your pain is not unique or world-shattering and that your slip-up is actually a reminder of the reality that you once lived in, but chose to move from long ago.
The way out is not paved with gold, but with reflection.
Look deep into the eyes of your reflection and admit that your addiction has been painful, but that it has also made you who you are:
Determined for more…
and willing to go on despite the fact that you will fail again.
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