This year I got Valentine’s Day ALL wrong. “Valentine’s Day? I don’t believe in that. It’s not that I like it or dislike it – I am really quite indifferent” – this was the tune I’d been singing for the past week. Then The Day arrived.
I rolled out of bed and I was miserable. Through humor-oriented whines (rooted in true feelings) I complained about how horrible this wretched day was. How sickening all the couples were making me. And how I simply wanted to curl up into a ball and mourn my state of singleness.
I spent the day with my mom – knocking off things from our combined ‘To-Do’ lists – the bank, the cell phone store, etc… it didn’t help. We went to Starbucks and she bought me a new Dr. Seuss book to add to my collection – it didn’t help. We drove all over the city (literally) until we found a Valentine’s-themed Starbucks card – it didn’t help. We went home and I read my Dr. Seuss book – still single, still no better.
Then my cousin came over – she brought me flowers. We shared a pizza and enjoyed each other’s company. I felt empty inside.
All of these things were nice in the moment, yet I still went to bed sad, feeling defeated by Valentine’s Day.
I succumbed to the reality that sometimes life just sucks. But I was missing something very important…
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See, Valentine’s Day isn’t about having a ‘Valentine’ (whatever that means, anyways). It is about love. And yes, I did realize this at the time, but the mistake I made was not letting it actually sink in.
All I could think about was the one area of love that my life does not have – a ‘significant other’ – and I allowed this ‘void’ (if you can call it that) to completely overshadow all of the types of love that I do have.
I was so distracted by the fact that I didn’t have someone that I missed all the love that I did get to enjoy on this day:
- Spending time with my mom – who I love and who loves me enough to drive all over the city in search of a heart-covered Starbucks card
- Visiting with my roommate – who always makes me smile
- Getting flowers from my cousin and spending time together
- And even picking my dad up from the airport
My entire day was spent doing things I love with the people I love and who love me. Is that not the perfect Valentine’s Day?
I don’t believe that one day should stand out above the rest in terms of how we treat the ones we love – if you want to show appreciation, then show it year-round – but if we do get the chance to spend a day (whether it be Valentine’s Day or just another Tuesday) with those we love, that is something special.
Typically, any other day of the year I feel surrounded by love and I don’t feel there is some ‘void’ that needs to be filled – In all honesty, I’m not even looking to be in a relationship right now anyways (but that’s a topic for another blog…).
These feelings should not all suddenly change just because I woke up and it was Valentine’s Day.
My cousin got it right – she called every member of her family yesterday just to tell them she loved them – That is what Valentine’s Day is all about. My other friend went out for dinner with his sister and parents – That is what Valentine’s Day is about. From the time I woke up to the time I went to bed I was with people I love. That is what Valentine’s Day is all about.
Today my friend handed me a bag of candy with a big smile on her face and said: “These are for you – Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s my favourite day!” (I hadn’t seen her the day before, hence the one-day delay). It’s not often you hear someone say with such sincerity that Valentine’s Day is their favourite day. But now I understand why she feels this way – because it is a celebration of love – ALL types of love. And that is something to get excited about!
Next year, I’m going to get it right…
Remember, you are loved in more ways than one.
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