Mental Health

Dealing with Problems

Dealing with Problems | Libero Magazine

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How do you deal with problems/conflicts? Deal with it right away, seek conversation and resolve quickly.

If only it really was that simple, right? I think sometimes we forget how hard conflict is to deal with.

From my own experience I know I have dealt with conflict/problems both well and also pretty horribly.

Dealing with problems breaks down to this: deal with the problem right away, seek a resolution (NOT through email) and resolve it as quickly as possible.

Something I have learned from my life is that conflicts can quickly evolve from something small into something huge if not dealt with.

One lesson I was taught was to “Eat your Frog”. The story goes like this; if you had to eat a live frog every morning when you woke up, then the rest of your day would be better. This is because you would know that, eating that Frog would be the worst thing in your day.

Now, I am not saying to actually go out and eat a living frog – I do not condone that. Instead, figure out what the hardest task you will have to do today is and do it first. Then you will know the rest of the day will be easier!

This applies directly with conflict resolution; if you take the conflict and deal with it first right away it will not be as big or as stressful as leaving it.

In my life, even simple conflicts that probably could have been resolved with a simple conversation have escalated into catastrophic fights. The reason I say you should deal with conflict right away is this – if you don’t, you are simply leaving it to evolve into something much bigger. Problems evolve quickly from simple feelings of upset to anger, frustration and, eventually, hatred.

Like all things in life procrastination can cause a fair amount of damage. I am a pretty bad procrastinator myself and I am probably preaching something I suck at but learn from me! Procrastination is never good unless you are Mr. Weurch (If anyone gets that reference 100 points to you). When you procrastinate conflict resolution, you allow your conflicts to grow exponentially. Think for a second – when has a conflict started as something small and then blown up? Was it because that small issue was given time to build, then combined with other issues and eventually exploded?

The next ‘pointer‘ I will give is this, seek conversation, not confrontation.

Conversation is when you allow and open discussion about what is going on. Sometimes we might act on our emotions and confront people instead of having a good conversation with them. A lot of good can come from talking to people; a lot of bad, however, can come from confronting. You will quickly know the difference because you will see the reaction of the person. If they are quick to flip out at you, yell at you, or start crying, you might be doing something wrong. Then again some people just are angry and emotional people 🙂

Lastly and sort of the conclusion of everything, resolve it quickly. This of goes hand in hand with dealing with the problem right away – just remember, when dealing with the problem promptly, also seek a resolution promptly.

I encourage you to look at your life and figure out what issues you have left unresolved with others. It shouldn’t take you much longer than 30 seconds to find issues that you know need to be dealt with that you have long postponed. Even as I am writing this I am thinking of conflicts in my life I need to resolve either with friends, at work or just in everyday life. The quicker you come to a resolution in life the better it feels. I mean, look at my depression and how that started, one of the factors was that I did not resolve a conflict I had in my life. It took a long drawn out process before it finally finished and there was some resolutions and peace that came into my life. But that is just me – I like to live a conflict-free life.

Rarely do I EVER achieve that, but at least I try!

 

Christian struggled through and recovered from depression. He likes to write so others can hear his story and know there is hope. His goal is that through sharing, people will be able to see their story within his own.


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