I was shopping for jeans the other day and the salesperson (who was ridiculously cute by the way) asked me what size I needed. I responded that I wasn’t sure because I hadn’t bought jeans in awhile. So he grabbed me a couple of pairs and then immediately began apologizing for the sizes – he told me that this particular brand of jean tends to fit smaller than other brands and that I shouldn’t be concerned if I have to go one or two sizes up in order to get the right fit.
Automatically, I replied that it didn’t really matter.
I told him that size is just a number and I don’t let things like a number send me spiralling into a depression.
I think he was a bit surprised by this response. I can only imagine the number of times in a day that he has to listen to girls complain about their size or shape. And I am sure that many girls begin panicking when they realize that their usual size doesn’t fit right.
I know this because I was one of those girls.
It wasn’t long ago when I used to fit into the smallest size at Guess and when trying on pants I wouldn’t even try one size bigger – I never paid attention to the cut or the style, I knew my size and I wasn’t buying anything different.
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The number was everything.
As my size began increasing I started a battle with my clothing.
I was desperately clinging on to jeans that were from a time when I was starving for perfection.
It took me a long time before I even considered buying new pants and when I did, I would wince when I saw the size on the label. In reality, I had only gone up one size, but that was enough to send me into shock.
Now I can’t even get those jeans up past my Italian booty – but I don’t mind. See the thing is, I know what it took to get me into those jeans and I never want to go back to that. By holding on to those clothes that no longer fit I am only holding myself back from living fully in my body today.
So I took an afternoon and I went through my entire closet, trying on every piece of clothing, and every item that did not fit me I packed up in a big suitcase and put in to storage.
Now, when I open my closet, I don’t have to worry about picking out an outfit only to find it doesn’t fit or staring at a bunch of clothes that are reminders of the past.
I am living in today’s body and it feels great!
Remember, size is just a number on a tag and clothes are just a way for us to express our inner selves; we do not need to feel trapped by them and we most definitely don’t need to allow a number to change how we feel about ourselves.
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