Eating Disorders

On Finding the Light (and letting it find you)

Bad, Good; It's Hard to Tell--A Zen Story About Mindfulness | Libero Magazine 1

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Today I found the light.

With the Fall semester coming up and chances for new beginnings and possibilities I have been doing a lot of thinking as to how I want to move forward and reach out to more people and spread the message of Libero regarding positive body image.

The trouble was I didn’t know how to do it or what was within the realistic realm of possibility.

Today I met with a woman who presented me with an opportunity that far surpassed my expectations; she offered to partner with me and assist me in turning Libero into an official non-profit organization.

Not only this, but she asked me to speak at an upcoming conference where I will get the chance to share my story and promote Libero to over 400 women of varying ages. WOW!

Additionally, she is connecting me with a group of successful business women who dedicate their time and mentor and train women like me who have an up-and-coming business or ministry but do not fully understand the ‘business’ side of things.


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These women will teach me how to start a business, promote it, and maintain it.

Libero – As in the same ‘Libero’ that began as an article I wrote simply to share with close friends and family – it is going to be a business, an official non-profit organization. I still can’t believe it!

Today as I was driving home, thinking about how last night when I went to bed Libero was simply a dream. Tonight, I am going home to think about what I want to put on business cards; it brought me to tears (which probably isn’t the safest thing while driving down the freeway…).

This journey has been so long.

I have been wandering through this for four years. And the past few months of recovery have at times been such a battle. So many times I wanted to give up. So many times I wanted to (and at times even did) throw in the towel and say “I AM DONE” because I just didn’t want to fight anymore and I didn’t see hope.

But now I am finally seeing that light at the end of the tunnel, and it is beautiful.

It has been such a long journey and there has been so much darkness. Though there were times when I saw glimmers of hope through encouraging messages and feedback from my writing, it always seemed less like ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ and more like light shining through the cracks. It let me know there was light out there, I just didn’t know how to get to it or if I even could.

But now, as I travel further down the road of recovery, I can see the light, I can feel it on my face, I am walking towards it, and I will never turn back.

I want you to know that there is light at the end of your tunnel. There is hope.

I know this because I am feeling it right now, as it shines towards me and reflects off my face. It is real.

And I understand if it is hard to believe or if you believe it but just don’t think it is possible for you, because I have been there. I have been in that dark tunnel where there seems to be no way out and you don’t know if you are moving forward or backwards (or maybe you are falling rapidly down a rabbit hole like Alice) – I have been there. But now I can say from experience that the darkness is not forever. It doesn’t end there in the tunnel.

There is so much more, so much light!

A quote comes to mind from one of my all time favourite movies “The Matrix”, Trinity says to Neo: “The answer is out there, Neo, and it’s looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.”

The light is out there. It’s waiting for you. Keep walking. Don’t turn back.

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Lauren is the Founder and Editor of Libero. She started Libero in April 2010, when she shared her story about her struggles with an eating disorder and depression. Now Lauren uses her writing and videos to advocate mental health and body positivity. In her spare time, she enjoys makeup artistry, playing Nintendo, and taking selfies with her furbaby, Zoey.

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The opinions and information shared in this article may not represent that of Libero Network Society. We hold no liability for any harm that may incur from reading content on our site. Please always consult your own medical professionals before making any changes to your medication, activities, or recovery process.

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  • >Congratulations, Lauren!!! That is fantastic that Libero is going to become a non-profit organization and that you received the opportunity to speak at a conference and share your story!I am happy for you as well that you have found the light. I am still searching for it, and this post gave me hope, thank you.

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The opinions and information shared in this article or any other Content on our site may not represent that of Libero Network Society. We hold no liability for any harm that may incur from reading content on our site. Please always consult your own medical professionals before making any changes to your medication, activities, or recovery process. Libero does not provide emergency support. If you are in crisis, please call 1-800-784-2433 or another helpline or 911.

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