On Crying Over Spilt Milk (relapsing)

“Tomorrow is a brand new day – with no mistakes in it.” – Anne of Green Gables

Nobody is perfect – we all know this, so why do we still expect perfection of ourselves? Recently I’ve gotten lazy in regards to taking care of myself. We all have those little ‘routine’ things that are so imperative to maintaining an overall healthy, balanced lifestyle and when we allow ourselves to break our commitment to doing these things we pay the penalty.

In my case, the penalty is a painful body, an upset stomach, falling behind in work and school, and an overall feeling of exhaustion towards life. I know that sounds dramatic – and it is!

I had a mini breakdown today and I realized just how far off track I had gotten and I began beating myself up over it – I had been doing so well… I was accomplishing things, staying on top of my schoolwork, getting exercise, maintaining a healthy relationship with food, investing in my spiritual life, and feeling excited to just be alive. And now here I was, behind on work, behind on school, my body seizing up from lack of exercise, and feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

I sat on the couch crying over wasted time, feelings of disappointment with myself, and frustration over the circumstances that I felt contributed to my state.

And then I realized something – I was crying over spilt milk.

Yes, I had fallen off track – I had allowed myself to get distracted from school and work, I had been too lazy to do something as simple as stretch out my muscles, and I hadn’t bothered to ask myself ‘am I full?’ – but to sit on the couch regretting this or getting down on myself about it was not going to get me anywhere.

Making a change requires moving past your mistake and being proactive. Crying over a slip-up will not move you forward; rather, it leaves you quite stuck.

In recovery you will find yourself staring at a lot of spilt milk. I know this because I’ve been there. Maybe you binged again, maybe you purged, maybe you went a day without eating, maybe you overate at lunch or dinner… these slips are normal and are part of the process and it is normal to feel upset when you don’t meet your goals for the day or when you fall off track, but allowing yourself to dwell on this does you no good. As Jenni Schaefer says (author of “Goodbye Ed, Hello Me”): “We must always get back on track now, not later.” And in order to do this you must accept the fact that you are human – you screw up – and the best thing to do afterwards is to keep moving forward.

As long as you keep moving you will reach your goal – it is when you allow yourself to remain stagnant, while shame, regret, and doubt take over, that you steal from yourself the opportunity to learn and to grow.

So maybe you fell off track – maybe you did it just today, or maybe you’ve allowed yourself to fall back into an unhealthy pattern – it’s ok, as long as you forgive yourself, realize that the past cannot be changed with any amount of regret, and pick up and keep moving forward.

No more crying over spilt milk.

As for me, I am looking forward to the possibilities of Tomorrow.

Lauren Bersaglio

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Lauren is the Founder and Editor of Libero. She started Libero in April 2010, when she shared her story about her struggles with an eating disorder and depression. Now Lauren uses her writing and videos to advocate mental health and body positivity. In her spare time, she enjoys makeup artistry, playing Nintendo, and taking selfies with her furbaby, Zoey.