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Today I am going to give you the biggest secret and tool to help you for the rest of your life. Completely free of charge with no strings attached AT ALL. Are you ready? Well, you are going to have to read the whole blog before I tell you. Just joking:
You cannot help someone who does not want to be helped.
If you learn to accept this, your life will become so much easier, I promise. Now I am not saying this to ward you off from helping people; but being someone who always wants to help and who never wants to see someone go through life alone, this is a lesson I’ve had to learn the hard way.
When I look back at my life and look at the times I tried to help I realize the only time I can help people is when they wanted help. As much as I do not like to admit it had NOTHING to do with me, I did eventually realize people have to want to be helped.
The reason I started this blog was to try and help people who have or are going through depression. Something I have realized, though, is that this blog cannot help anyone unless they themselves want help. This is not a giving up attitude saying I am not going to try and help people; it simply means that I need to accept I cannot help (or “fix”)everyone.
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Helping people, I think, is something that is built into every one of us.
I am not an expert in helping people, sadly. I love to help, but I often feel like I fail half the time. Well, more than half. That comes with being human though right? Something I talked about with Lauren B. recently was that we are not professionals here at Libero Network. I know this might shock everyone, but I am not a professional in helping others get through depression. I can tell you my experience, what worked for me and how you can help yourself but I cannot ultimately help you or fix you – no matter how much I would like to.
Some things in life are a matter of choice, and I believe being helped is one of these choices. People need to choose to want to be helped.
If you had come up to me in October and told me you were going to help me get over depression, I would have let you try but ultimately your help wouldn’t have made much of a difference because I didn’t even want to help myself let alone let someone else help me. I was still denying my depression and I didn’t want to admit to needing “help” because I didn’t want to admit there was something wrong.
Eventually, I made the choice to seek out help, and that time, it worked. Because I wanted it. And so that is my advice for anyone who is wanting to help someone else; all you can really do is sit back and wait until someone asks for help because forcing it won’t do any good – for you or for them.
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