I was talking to a friend today about fixing the damage I have done in the past before moving on to ‘newer and better things’. Since high school, I have caused a little bit of damage and this is something that has always weighed me down.
We all go through life and sometimes people get hurt along the way, but just because it happens, does that mean it is acceptable? Sure there are going to be break ups, fights and quarrels, but does that mean we are supposed to just say “Oh well, time to move on”?
No, it is not. The truth is that it is really my responsibility to go back and fix the damage I have done.
I am the farthest thing from perfect and I will never claim to ever be perfect (from now on) but how much of this responsibility for my damage lies on me?
Fixing is an interesting thing because there are few different types of motives behind ‘fixing’ something.
The first one is having no motive except to help people for the sake of helping people and being a great person. The second is trying to get something out of someone – whether it be a favor, something physical or just attention. The third is probably the worst kind, which is helping ‘fix things’ in order to make yourself look better. This is the worst one because you’re not only using the other person but you are lying to the people around you about who you are.
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I personally have more respect for the person who is willing to admit they used a person than the person who is untrue about their character. For me it kind of goes like this – I would trust the murderer who said he murdered another person more then the person who says he has never made a mistake in his life.
Those are extremes, but I think you get my point.
The first thing I want to figure out is whether or not I should go back and fix the damage I’ve done or if I should leave it. And if I am going to fix it where am I going to start?
Personally I am feeling more and more convicted to fix the damage I have done. This does not mean going back and saying sorry to everyone I’ve been mean to or every driver I’ve cut off, but it means addressing any permanent damage I may have caused an individual due to my actions.
A great man once told me that each day you have to “Eat Your Frog“.
The analogy goes like this: If each day you have to wake up and eat a live frog every morning before you started your day, your day would be better. This would be because you would know that you had accomplish the worst thing in the beginning of the day and the rest of the time would be easier. It doesn’t mean that you poke at the frog and take 3 hours to eat it, it means waking up right away eating the whole thing in one go and then moving on.
This is the way I am going to deal with my stuff – I am going to eat my frog!
I will address the hardest things first (fixing the ‘big damage’) and then make my way back to the smaller stuff.
The last thing I want to talk about is how all of this relates to depression.
Depression usually comes in a few different ways – mine happened to be partly due to stress and when things started to go ‘unchecked’. If you are going through depression or just plain old having a crappy day, I encourage you to figure out why.
If it has something to do with hurting someone then I encourage you to Eat Your the Frog. By getting rid of the problem, you will most likely see the symptoms begin to disappear.
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